The people we count on............

If we followed the advice from all Disney films we would live in a much happier place. Sadly because of our psychological make up its impossible.

Anyway the start of my weekend, last weekend, was doing a job for my father, my first celebrity photo shoot. the VIP guest speaker none other than Rt Hon Ann Widdecombe....

She is the one dressed in grey, I didn't really know what to expect so I was on tender hooks all day. Stress that actually was wasted, I was joined by a well known photographer from the local paper, Jeff Searle. A lovely chap who let me act as his apprentice for an hour.

I had nothing to worry about actually, while most people were warm and welcoming, some are just shy.... a realisation that equality and diversity isn't maintained or adhered to within a certain set of self centred individuals that actually should know better. No different to what I encounter everyday.

Sometimes though its events like this that highlight my issues, the ones that stop me from getting on in life... Whilst incredibly loyal, very conscientious, and I try very hard with my manners and treating people with respect which is very important to me. I also believe that I deserve to be treated in the same way.

Oh boy I'm off on one, I must reel it in! It becomes boring.....

 

 

 

I found myself in the gym last Sunday.... twice, a total of two and a half hours and 1500 calories burnt off - I may have over done the keenness as this weekend I feel like a remake of the blob, the not so scary low budget version. Currently wrapped up with my house guests wondering what is happening. The idea of a MacDonald's breakfast, well that would have just been pure heaven! Sadly no one on hand to surpress my need!

 

My house guests! Dolly and Maude



 





Oh the drama

OMG.... What can I say some people just can't handle pain.

So as any good friend, I have come with my friend Ellie to support her through the simplest procedure available on the NHS. The insertion of a heart monitor.

So we arrive at the hospital with time to spare, and we go through the process of waiting in the waiting room, not for long. Called into the day surgery ward where the usual checks are carried out, blood pressure good - wonderful saturation levels.... Then out comes the cannula time to find a vain.... First attempt and the nurse is a little unfriendly tries to insert the the needle and starts saying that its bent and Ellie turns a funny colour, and starts complaining that she feels sick, the complaint turns to 'I feel faint'. Then the alarm starts going as Ellie slumps in the chair, I start thinking oh here we go, and move away form the bed to make room for the invading group of staff nurses to gather and move Ellie on to the floor in a health and safety manner, I was very impressed with the speed in which it happened you could almost liken it to the formula one pit stops only Ellie wasn't going to be speeding away once they finished.

 

There was a certain amount of confusion when Ellie came to - she couldn't figure out why she couldn't hear bird song! Then the realisation that she was in fact on the floor of a hospital ward with a bunch of smurfs surrounding her! (nurses in blue scrubs)

 

 

After she recovered and was relocated on the bed, it took another 3 attempts over a two hour period to successfully insert the cannula. I do believe the whole process was dependent on looks. As it was a young doctor called Alex who managed to tap Ellie. Typical ....

What a lightweight.

The 'I feel faint' comment was repeated as the antibiotics and flush was administered...... but thanks to Rebecca, the lovely nurse, a relapse was avoided.

The rest of the time there was otherwise pretty uneventful. :) xx

Sweaty Betty

 

One day I hope to have this body, but its going to take some very hard work!

I have just spent the last hour and a half burning off a total of 757 calories - thing is I noticed that I do appear to produce an excessive amount of perspiration and in areas that that a lady just wouldn't share with most people.

As you know I like to share my experiences with the world in the hope you may learn from my actions.

I have a friend, Emma, who works at my gym and today she said the nicest thing. I can't repeat verbatim cos my memory is so awful, but the general idea was my time puffing and blowing is begining to pay off.

Thing is when I go into the gym I don't look too bad, when I come out, in my minds eye, my face has taken on the persona of a lobster cooking in a pot, my t-shirt is so staturated in perspiration I could put it in the washing machine on spin and get approximately 3 litres of liquid from it. Then of course there is the very personal area!!!!! I feel I would benefit from some kind of absorbent layer..... tena lady maybe...... (sorry TMI, but for some unknown reason I just have to share!)

Tomorrow is my 7pm Pilates and I may have to follow with another hour and half in gym...... but I my have to play it by ear. Thing is I know want to find the best thing to rehydrate so if you have any tips or products that I could use please feel free to speak up.

I do have to say I shouldn't have watched the news while training, I picked a time when Margaret Thatcher's coffin was being moved, the updates from the Boston bombing were coming through thick and fast and Breaking news of a bus crash in the Alps. Nothing positive at all.

HeyHo! best get back to feeding myself and figuring out what will help me burn off this fat!

What is going on with my body! It is having issues.......

I'm so sorry people, I have been neglecting to update y'all on the current events of the day..... what can I say. I have become addicted to the gym. Having joined a gym, my frugal side wants to get its moneys worth! My week consists of 2 sessions of Pilates, a session of yoga, visits to the gym which on average I can burn 750 calories, swimming and badminton. I maybe over doing it, or I maybe be making up for my laziness.

It seems to be giving me such a high, regardless of the aches and pains. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. Like a packet of Pringles once I pop I can't stop...... Endorphins wonderful things.... the only draw back I appear to be over doing the weights and not achieving enough cardio..... since joining the gym I have put on 3.9 kilos...... muscle weighs heavier than fat what can I say!

So as you can tell I haven't really had any time what so ever to carry on with blogging. So much to do and so little time! The human weirdness is passing me by and I'm not writing about it.... so hopefully I can make up for lost time. Thing is when I am in the gym I'm in my own little bubble, a world that is full of nuances..... and random dreams.

A long with the gym membership I have the biggest ball that takes up most of my living room, only real draw back is it doesn't mow the lawn. But hey, we can't have everything right?

Right time to embark on another trip to the gym... laters all xx

Fanfare in the middle of Pilates..... yes it was me!

So for weeks now I have had writers block..... little did I know it would be one of my guff's that would break the cycle!

Just lately things in my life have been a little turbulent......

Last week I found out from my father that there had been an incident with my mother and his car. My fathers car seem to have developed a mind of its own, in point of fact, it appears to have been possessed by some kind of lock and alarm gremlin. So anyway my mother and father had been out for a little excursion and on their return Pops had wanted to pop into the local supermarket. Ma didn't fancy mingling with the lemmings so opted to stay in the car. Refusing to have the radio on, my pops took the keys with him. So off he went, to peruse the bargains on off! after about 5 minutes there was an announcement over there tannoy "Would Mr Richard Stirling please return to his car". Off he trotted and found my mother trapped in the car with the alarm going off..... by the look on my mothers face she wasn't impressed. This was confirmed as soon as dad managed to stop the alarm and open the doors....... it was like an atomic bomb going off in the middle of the car park. Poor dad.... that'll be the last time he'll be leaving my mother in the car. The car had locked itself and the alarm was going off.... my mother had to get the attention of a passer-by to go and put out the message for my father.

 

So this weekend has marked my 12 months of being smoke free, I am proud to say I am a non-smoker. 4 days ago a friend of mine quit, today was testing for her. the fact that she was wanting to throttle everyone that crossed her path.  I am so proud of my friend for joining the growing numbers of ex smokers. But it isn't easy. So we go for our Wednesday night session of Pilates to release some of those endorphins. The class is fairly uneventful and then the instructor got us to do a movement that required to rock on to our backs and then up on to our bottom cheeks without out feet touching the floor. My body decided during this that it wanted to say something.... but on at a gentle whisper, but a fanfare of noise escaped from my bottom. I farted so loud that I almost dislodged a breeze block 2 metres away! the force almost propelled me across two badminton courts. The kerfuffle it caused was just monumental. Not only had I made the night of some strangers especially the guy right next to me.... YES LOVE WOMAN FART TOO! But I have cheered up my friend, making her day!

I'm so proud of myself

I was tempted to use the baby pool at the gym as some kind of Jacuzzi, but I decided against it. I don't the the foundations are that strong.

I am now off to take on a confectionery producer....... checkout what was found in my nephews sweeties

Mouse pooh... I mean how rude - I know shit happens but that my friends is not on. I will let you know how this works out for me. 

I'm laundering money!

What a packed weekend, not only have I been involved with laundering money but I have had issues at speed!

 

This weekend started early, I took friday off to clean and wait in for Dan, the boiler service man!! More a boy actually. There goes another £50 that I could have done without parting with. But sadly this is what it boils down to, Motorcycle service and boiler service all in the same month. LIFE I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY!

 

 I do have to say a friend threw me a bit of a life line when sheasked me to walk her dogs. I am not sure if I impressed my friend with the state of her dogs on our return but I do have to say its great therapy to end up this dirty.........

 

So having been paid very handsomely for the epic walk, I placed the foldy stuff in my rear pocket. I walked home to get the hose out and clean off the boots, as soon as the front door was closed, I stripped off and started the weekend washing ritual. BUGGER I'M LAUNDERING MONEY. That sort of thing is illegal! Funny really how money feels when you take it out of the wet pocket of your jeans. At least it drys quicker than the pair of jeans that I had on!

 

The walk was so satisfying it was the fresh air workout that I had so long for over the winter months. It helps so much with my truly lacking vitamin D that causes such things as SAD, it made me feel that little bit more chipper.  

 

Friday night, and my nephew came to stay. Which is great for me cause I cook the most amazing meals. Well proper meals, amazing might be slightly over exaggerating my talents. So the plan of action was to be up early to head to the new pool for 8am. Sadly we were late because we had to take my sisters dog back to her house and I woefully underestimated the time it would take to do that. So we waited till 10am for the generally opening hours.....

 

I was look forward to teaching my nephew how to swim, I didn't realise how much work it was going to be. Firstly I had to deal with the huge disappointment that we couldn't go in at 8.20.  Getting changed was uneventful there was a certain excitement with getting in the little training pool, but  then there was the loo incident. Having been in the pool for five minutes the little man piped up that he needed the loo again! so that was fine off we went, now as my nephew is only 3 he was having difficulties with taking his trunks off, so he ask for some help which I dutifully did, but I noticed he hadn't lifted the seat so I started to lift it, the thing was just as I lifted he lowered his head - yes you can tell his head met loo seat and it resulted in tears (and guilt on my part).

 

After that little piece of excitement, the rest of our time at the pool just a bit of fun...... when he started to turn blue I thought it would be a good idea to go!

 

When we got back to my house the idea was he's help me cook pie! Within minutes he was......

 

 

 

So I made a pie..... a weird curry pie! Chicken, bacon, onions, mushroons and a secret sauce..... with a pie top. It was wonderful.

 

Sunday, mothers day and as a dutiful daughter I popped over for lovely lunch at my mum and dads. I had a wonderful time, until I returned home on my motorcycle. It had started raining, and it was cold. Not a good combination, rain I can deal with, cold I can deal with, both together. Lets just say the results just ain't pretty.  A long a particularly fast piece of my return journey I was hit by, what seemed to be, a ninja of a rain drop.... I wouldn't usually complain but it hit head on my pierced nipple. The resulting pain would knock any normal individual out. However after a few choice words I managed to shake it off! 

 

 

Tomorrow back to work......

Therapeutic weekend, what's gone well..........

Funny old weekend, yesterday Friday 1st March, I had to go to hospital. I was experiencing some weird sharp pain on the right hand side of my head, which had actually started the afternoon before. As it was something I had never before experienced I was getting a little concerned, it could have been a stroke. Thing was I was doing all the tests, smiling lifting my arms above my head, talking to myself.... Which I do quite regularly! So I wouldn't have been about to say if I was having issues talking because my brain would have just thought it I was being normal. So any way, wanting to play it on the safe side, I decided to seek medical advice. But first thing first, I took my motorcycle to be serviced. Not the best call in the world when you think you may have some kind of physical head issue. Well got the bike to the garage. Pat Watts in Bridgwater and walked to the minor injuries unit.... This gave me the opportunity to assess the situation fully. Why I had not previously been able to take this sensible approach to the situation, I am unable to say. Shakes, fuzzy head, weird sharp pain to the right hand side of my head. A migraine, I haven't had one in the last twelve months.

My Motorcycle, her name is Moo!

After having my self-diagnoses concurred with a fellow medical expert (Can I say that as a qualified First Aider?) I was able to carry on with my day, with a mammoth sense of relief, and popping the pain killers like smarties. I was even able to work and play badminton... Weird migraine! Just need to eliminate the cause to stop it happening again!

Saturday morning, new pool opens for the first time, so me and my gym buddy head off 10 minutes early to join the gathering masses at 7.50 for the first early bird session.... Guess what, we were the first ones there. Result. So anyway, we commence our swimming session, my buddy setting herself a goal of 40 lengths of the pool. A task which at the time I think is a really good idea. Until I have completed one length..... I come to the conclusion that I must work on my technique rather that quantitative I'm going to work on qualitative. I had a really wonderful coach when I was at Primary School. All I needed to do was remember what he said..... but  lets face it, I find it difficult to remember what happened yesterday let alone 30 odd years ago. The results of my swimming are as follows

• Front crawl - Successfully executed 1 length = out of breath.
• Back crawl - Successfully executed 3/4 length = out of breath.
• Breast stroke - EPIC FAIL.
• Doggy Paddle - EPIC FAIL..... surprise result.

So the conclusions that have been reached so far are after most exercises that have been completed, jogging was EPIC FAIL thanks to my Achilles heel. Pilates successful but must work on my technique. CORE I will have to come back to at some point but the first and only time almost killed me, issues were sweat, ability and my glasses sliding down my nose at every possible opportunity! Yoga, is booked for Thursday, I will be expecting at least one black eye if not two. I have no balance so I anticipate falling flat on my face a few times. Working out in the gym is getting easier, although I still think the machines in there are so form of mordern torture. Badminton I'm making great headway, wonderful success really and I'm remembering some of the old tricks. Overall, I'm doing well, But my stamina is just non-existent, unless its hitting a shuttlecock!

The best thing about this weekend, My motorcycle is now running very smoothly and not sounding like a tactor before the service.

My body is a temple...... no its a work in progress!

I walked out of the house this morning ready to take on the next challenge - Core class at the gym. I was really keen and really looking forward to it. The five minute walk even though it was fraught with danger (trees being dismantled rather close to the footpath) didn't deter me. The wonderful feeling didn't dissipate until 2 minutes into the start of the class itself, when my heart rate shot through the roof, and the lactic acid had managed to hijacked my entire body. Breathing had become a labour intensive act that if I wasn't being reminded to do I would have forgotten. And this is just the start of the class.

Well as you'd imagine the class contained some outstanding moves to help you with your core..... Thing is, as it transpires, I DONT HAVE A CORE! The holding and repetitive moves I just couldn't complete. I started missing my Pilates instructor, Hugo. I feel the need to make I LOVE HUGO T-Shirts. Oh I digress.

Anyway we get to the end of the class, and its time for stretching, which as I could barley move at this point, was almost impossible. the colour of my face is now the same colour as someone that has an alcohol problem. Which then brings me to the walk home, I had to maintain a composure that didn't make me look like I needed someone to call an ambulance. This task was successfully executed, all the way to my front door. Upon managing to unlock and open, I fell flat on my face. Hopefully out of shot of my neighbours! I crawled to the kitchen where I opened a can of cherry coke, two packets of onion rings and a chunky kitkat.

I should have had breakfast before I left this morning! Note to self get up earlier.

I love the fact that I have managed to make an early exercise class, I don't like the fact that compared to the others that attend I look like this...... See below

 

Anyway I will stick with it, one day I will have the body that I want..... mind you I might have to go out and nick it!!!

 

Have a good day one and all

 

FARTes and friendship

What a week. Life affirming really. Too much time spent at the gym and taking part in exercise classes that I'm punching a little (a lot) above my weight in! A well respected colleague has managed to explain something to me that I should have realised myself. Some people are just under developed! Blongs are wonderful therapy for venting as long as they are done in a healthy way.

 

 



Yesterday during Pilates I was focusing on my core, my pelvic floor and controlling the most powerful of all my body parts, containing my wind/gas! I'm not entirely sure why this bodily function is so prolific. May be its just my increasing age. 

 

Anyway I have come up with a new range on t-shirts for people like me to wear to the gym.. "Intimidated gym member" this can work on many levels. For those, like myself you will be placed close to the speakers to hopefully drown out the noise of what your body may produce during the workout. I find myself going more and more in the hope that I'll find this six pack that everyone goes on about!

 

I found a post  on Facebook full of swearing and insinuating that people were judgemental. The whole thing was so poorly written I had to make a comment and this is my response "If you are going to rant about you affliction, at the very least make sure you do it in an eloquent manner that is worthy of the respect you obviously long for." Swearing when making a statement belittles the point, making it pointless! After I had written this I realised that I am turning into my mother. Scary really

 

When you grow up, someone somewhere always reminds you that daughters always turn into their mothers. But the likehood of this, at the time, that this ever happening is so remote.... then of course there seems to be a critical time. (This time for me was the birth of my nephew.)  It's almost like a switch has been flicked, in the same way teenagers and their "issues" kick off at that age.

 

I am hoping my friends stand by me in this transitional phase of my life and assist with keeping me fully grounded.

 

 



Me at the gym!

 





Early birds don't necessarly get the worm....

I was woken early this morning by the sound of a friend messaging me. We had planned to venture early to the gym to get a circuit down before the masses got there. I managed to throw on some clothes and crawl downstairs to make a cup of tea.... (I really should have made it coffee!) as I thought that I had plenty of time to drink it.

I embarked on sorting out the stuff that I wanted to take to the gym, have a couple of puffs on the old inhalers, in the hope that my lungs would remain fully inflated during our work out. Just as I took a sip of my tea my friend arrived and burst through my door. The sense of calm was broken and it was time to make our way to the gym..... Can I just say that the gym reminds me of a medevil torcher chamber, the only difference being that the equipment has a modern twist and its better lit. Instead of a draft you have air conditioning.

Anyway, we started walking to the gym all keen and very much up for a session of sweating. Its only a 5 minute walk or so. I notice that the car park is empty, jolly good, no one to witness my attepts at keeping fit.





An illustration of my figure!

So we arrive at the gym complex, at 0815, only to find its shut, the doors don't open till 0930. HOW STUPID do we feel! You can imagine our disappointment. But we have learnt a very valuable lesson. CHECK OPENING TIMES. Not everyone is up at the weekend at stupid o'clock as we were.

I have managed to attend the gym everyday this weekend,either workingout or playing badminton and tomorrow I am booked into a Pilates class. Only one thing that is being a rather large hindrance and causing some concern. Cramp and lactic acid build up in my legs. My bodies way of telling me I'm unfit... which is just bloody rude if you ask me.

Anyway on our return the 'keen' feeling had subsided, spoilt by the fact that we should have known better and we felt really silly.

It wasn't a complete EPIC FAIL, just a little one.

The rest of the day has been must more constructive. My assignment is almost finished and I have managed to get some supplies in. A good day all in all.

I hope you have had a good one, and have enjoyed my silly ramblings.



I know I shouldn't but....

Today I was playing badminton with a friend. On the court next to us was a chap that was very obviously trying to revive a trend that went out when John McEnroe retired. Head and wristbands, equipped with new badminton racket. This dude must have been mid forties and he had arrived with three young lads. He started playing a singles match with one lad and the facial features said it all. As this bloke battled to run round after the shuttlecock he's was sticking his tongue out, almost like a panting dog..... As the score was mounting against him, this expression was magnified, what didn't help either were his glasses seemed to be a throw back from a long list era.

I had to request that I change sides because it was getting to the point were I just couldn't compose myself and if I had carried on my Pilates core exercise wouldn't have been able to control a certain part of my anatomy.

A little sleepy........

Sometimes I just see things that I believe are so beautiful I just need to share them....

 

 

I have finally managed to complete 67% of my assignment which is 66% more than I had done this morning... What a relief. I have also managed to eat properly and play 45 minutes of badminton, do all my clothes washing.

 

So calling it a day on the old studying front.

 

Earlier I went off to the gym and on my way back I noticed a white hire van, with three guys sat in it ogling myself and my friend. This begs the question, from a social science point of view, is it just the vehicle that encourages this behaviour or could it be the number of man in close proximity to each other or could it be something else? Just food for thought.

 

So now the creative juices, I have to make plans to do the following in the coming months

1.  Plan a charity event that involves the entire community. This I have called big/little league, on the 6th July I plan to have a large game of baseball, at a location yet to be anounced, and will be in aid of Luke Buckingham http://www.justgiving.com/LukesLeukaemiaSideline
2. Then on the 8th September I will be partaking in a charity event that is called the bra run. http://www.bra-run.co.uk/

Busy busy busy..... shame I have missed my nephew this weekend. He is such a big part of my life now that when my routine of spending time with him is interrupted, just like this weekend I feel like a huge part of me is missing. We geton so well. I put that down to the fact that we are the same mental age.

 

I need to get off this computer. I have spent far too much time on this today.

 

 

  

My Brain isn't playing ball!!!

 

 

This picture just sums up exactly how I feel right now. I have taken two days off work in the hope that I can write a 1500 word assignment over the weekend and have it handed in by Monday lunch time. It's not going well. I can't even bring myself to say anything remotely funny..... OH MY GOD I have writers block.

So I have now just returned from the gym after hammering out about 200 calories and I have come up with a theory. I have not sorted out my recycling into its correct receptacles. so that is what I'm about to do. Sort out recycling, get myself showered and changed and fed.

Along with the writers block I had an EPIC FAIL when participation with FAT JOGGERS on Wednesday night. I didn't really assist in helping the skittle team I play for, the Tri-ards, win last night. Well done ladies we have have rocked this season. Maybe I have some kind of blockage..... energy, mental, psychological, lower intestine!

OK - time to revert to list writing. That always helps in this situation maybe timetable the weekend. I know this sounds like a real OCD thing do to but it works. Refocus and I will achieve my goals....... I really need to stop leaving my studying to the last minute. I can't use the excuse I have writers block to get an extension. Another EPIC FAIL this week is not acceptable. the due date for my assignment is Tuesday at 12pm. I WILL have it in 24 hours before deadline. I have a Pilates class that I have booked and I refuse to miss it.

I need success, I can and I will achieve this weekend. 800 words tomorrow and 750 words on Sunday, electronically submit on Monday.

Wish me luck people

 



The Perils of a finance office

What a day, due to some twist of fate (or something like that) the paperwork in the finance office has built up to levels of catastrophic proportion. Dangerous levels for paper protruding for their "waiting to be filed" trays, leaning in a way that requires some kind of scaffolding. So as part of Operation "Piles" I set about putting a two foot pile of paperwork into alphabetical order (strict alphabetical order). As you can imagine the job is very monotonous, but does have its dangerous side if you allow you concentration levels to drop. As a result of this exact reason, I have now sustained injuries, paper cuts on my hands. You know very well that a paper cut can be the most painful of injuries. Resulting in you becoming a whingeing pain to the people around you, because they can't see what is causing so much pain, and actually they think you're a wimp.... cos its not even bleeding.  To add to my discomfort, the sorting of this paperwork took me 6 hours..... Funny really that they ask the ONLY dyslexic in the office to file paperwork in alphabetical order.

Anything that appears to be related to Finance gets a bit of a tough rap. There are such strict rules and regulations to stay on the right side of the law, and twice a year we have visits from groups of individuals that come in and scrutinise every action that is taken. These individuals are called auditors and they make anyone working within the office very nervous. It's not because of what we do, because believe me the staff in a finance office are totally kosher, but a microscopic hiccup and they pounce like a pack of starving wolves ravaging a carcass. It's a bit like the opening lines of H.G Wells, War of the Worlds.  "No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own". Well almost, the bit about intelligences greater than mans is a little bit over exaggerated, in most cases!

So hopefully this explanation of just one of the difficulties might give you a slightly better idea why it appears that anyone who works in a financial roll can't deviate from the regulations. We're not boring people, we are just more squeaky clean than anyone else walking the planet. Please also take note never ever ask us to explain what we do. I tried it once and I fell asleep.

Lets have a hug a Finance Assistant Day

Procrastinating Me.......

Early morning wake up this morning. Which has exasperated my feelings of exhaustion and drainage from the week that I have just been dragged through. Running out of steam very rapidly. I was planning on going to the gym and starting on my assignment today. I had to rethink my day, so after completion of the weekend cooking for meals of the week! and 3 loads of washing, feeding myself and my nephew. I settled down in front of Daniel Craig and slept for 3 hours. Not great when you have an assignment deadline date looming and you really must start exercising more (cos lets face it, I ain't getting any younger and my body is getting heavier!)

Food seems to be taking over my life again, well more the interest in the way it tastes. I will blame that on the fact that I gave up smoking and I can now taste how food should be experienced. One problem, I seem to have developed a sweet tooth!

I noticed that I had purchased a box of special k chilli snack things, which I thought was a good idea. 21 individual crisp like entities = 93 calories. But the box contains more than 21 CLE's. So if you have an impulsive nature, as I do, how are you expected to just open the box and leave it at 21! Or the other thing, are you really going to stand in your kitchen and count crisps! Why couldn't they just put the damn things in pre-weighed packaging! It's not as if they put much thought into the packaging...... I mean one cardboard box, and a foil bag on the inside. Too much to think about really.

Tomorrow, I will embark on a game of badminton, and maybe sometime in the gym. Not sure if I should book in on Monday for an extra Pilates class. I'm still feeling the pain from the last session. Really enjoyed it, so may have to do yoga too. Anything to ease the joints and keep things balanced. And actually tone my body to lesser the need for a tummy bra! I'm hoping for a better body shape, so rather than a retangle I would like to obtain a couple of trangles...... you can tell I have done the maths on this one!!!



   

What a feeling......

What a good day, well it was more a good evening. Albeit a journey into the unknown! Started off with a very successful jogging session, with a couple of extra runners this evening in the guise of my mum and dad's miniature dachshunds, Dolly and Maude. Not your average dogs for jogging. They out ran me!

Anyway when we returned I bolted a cheese sandwich and headed for the great unknown, an hour of Pilates at the gym near my home.

Eighteen willing people and me.... a nervous person who had no idea what I was letting myself in for! I soon learnt that its all about stretching and breathing and balance. Something which if you suffer from bouts of gas could have been very embarrassing. I would have been mortified if I was rooking backward and forward and farting at the same time. My body was being kind and only noises it made were the breathing sounds and also a few cracking noises from joints that hadn't been moved like that in a very long time.

So after that, I returned and contacted my gym buddy. Next week the plan of action is jog with one buddy and pilates and gym with my other buddy. not to mention Badminton and gym at the weekend, with intervals of more OU enlightenment. I need to work on the tubby body that I appear to have now.

Next month, I can  get swimming stuff for the new pool and start to teach my nephew how to swim. The more I think about it the more I'm looking forward to it. His mother , my sister, and I used to be brilliant swimmers. I'm hoping I can share my previous knowledge of water babyness!

oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plains....

I have managed to fix two fence panels today and sustained foreign object injuries. Always sounds so much better than I have got splinters! Tonight seems to be the test as to my abilities to fix things, predicted gusts of up to 28 mph. I will keep you posted to the results.

I also have house guests this evening, Dolly and Maude, my parents miniature wire haired dachshunds. Below you can see Dolly and Maude on the front cover of their dog groomers book!

Big picture Sorry I can't tell which one is which!

So this evening we have been out for a walk, it was lovely. I managed to get to know my neighbours and others rather better than I had hoped for. It was bin day today and unless it was anchored to the floor it ended up all over the road!!! Nice. I also have a bit of a beanie issue..... it will not stay on my head. Which just ends up looking stupid, and won't cover my ears! Bumped into my brother in law, he's out on the beat, keeping our streets a safer place. Although that being said hes fairly inadequate with doing anything about storm force winds. (Sorry Ian, but lets face it who does handle the wrath of mother nature.... Lov you Bro - take it steady)

Right time I call it a day, check the fence and head to bed

Night night all

Arse whooping by an eleven year old.......

What a totally wonderful Sunday, filled with all sorts of things but what I actually needed to be getting on with.

I managed to get up early to go foraging for grub! I quickly whipped up a three egg cheese omelet, with a little sauce on the side followed by cooking some sausages to throw in the slow cooker along with onions mushrooms and some kind of cheat mix! I then got dressed with the intention I clean my motorcycle, which took me up to 12pm. Then I decided I wanted some lunch, so I wrapped some chicken mini fillets in parma ham drizzled some chili oil and sprinkled some herbs over them, stuck a pan on for some mash potatoes.

Then my attention was alerted to the downed fence panel in my garden, so with drill in hand and a few screws I set about fixing the darn thing...... may I just say that this fence panel is always taking a leave of absence when its windy. You can guarantee its in my next door neighbours house, and today was no exception. So after dragging it back into my gardern, screwing the bits and pieces back together. I single handly inserted the panel between the two posts, thus rendering my garden safe for my four legged guests.

Returned indoors to find my lunch almost ready, so dished that up. Once lunch was finished I cleared up and got ready to go and play badminton. A friend and her son had arranged to play this afternoon, and of course with my new found kick for keep fit (and stop being a tubby git) I had to give it my all for the entire hour. It was wonderful, I haven't played in a very long time, to be honest I can't remember the last time I played or where.

I didn't start very well, in fact for some reason I couldn't seem to find the shuttlecock! Then I seemed to be hitting it with the frame of the racket. Once we got into the swing of things we started playing some outstanding badminton. The scary thing is when my friend and I were playing a game against her son, the games were rather closer than they should have been. Hopefully we can get in a few more games before we next have a match against him. Its rather telling when a eleven year old almost beats you in a game that he's never played before!

So now with a clean kitchen all washing up done, its time to shower, and relax, and also think about a study plan for the next two weeks.

I also find myself wanting to design a certain something to control fat! as we are aware the bra is a very good invention and something that if is a correct fit can with stand huge amounts of force........ I need something with the same principal for my tubby tummy. I'm currently experiencing a knock on effect. When I am out with Fat Joggers, the reverberations from stomach to chest are so violent that unless tummy is strapped down I am very likely to sustain a head injury! So for the foreseeable future I will be looking at either strapping the stomach or a six pack.... watch this space I'm praying for the six pack and the body I can be proud of....... Wish me luck xx

What an ass of a week

Greetings my friends, I'm sorry for the lack of up date, but I have truly had a really awful time of it. This evening is going to be a time for comfort eating......

The harassment has been above and beyond the normal realms of  human tolerance. Its not been pretty. Its been a case of how many times and in different ways can one individual imply  that you are lying, even when you have witnesses. It truly comes to something when your word which is held in such high regard with the people that matter is completely dismissed by the people with power. What is happening to this world?  

The evil just keeps on growing there currently seems to be no way of stopping this poisonous entity. It's a case of who are you going to call!!

Anyway I'm not subjected to this onslaught 24/7 and I have found the best way of dealing with this torment is going to the gym, Wednesday I embarked on the fitness kick that is going to give me a new lease of life. 30 minutes of "jogging" with the Fat Joggers, followed by a good hour in the gym.

The initial results are wonderful, flooding my body with endorphins a small draw back is the early morning stretch two days after when you push as far as you can with the end result being that of almost passing out for some sudden release of something drug like..... it wasn't so much a draw back its was almost a state of euphoria...

Going to have a really wonderful productive weekend with lots of positive input, and some sun..... which is always good for those of us that suffer from S.A.D. The family is all going to lunch tomorrow at Za Za Bazaar in Bristol...... NICE Yummy! That would be after I get my hair cut and purchase a badminton racket. My afternoon will be made up of looking after a friends son, a bit of home work and then a workout in the gym. Sunday will keep working on my most recent Open University assignment, an game of badminton. I am determined that my positivity will last the entire weekend. I will keep at bay the darkness for as long as possible.

I will end now by saying have a great weekend one and all - talk soon xx

Backed into a corner.....

Not having the best time..... A certain person has decided that no matter what I do it's the wrong thing and everything that comes out of my mouth is clearly a lie!
Which is a little bizarre as some of my friends describe me as most conscience. The whole situation is exhausting, and quite frankly I've had enough....

What I do next is just brilliance if I do say so myself. While getting my slow cooker ready for tomorrow and washing up done (Yes I can do two things at once! Cheeky) I put my iShuffle on with some wonderful tracks, and I start prancing, yes prancing, around my house, obviously this released my favourite endorphins which made me feel so much better..... Then with my Nerf gun I took some target practice. I know it isn't a real gun aiming at a certain object, but I've learnt beggars can't be choosers

So now I'm listening to backwards a track by the very talented band Rascal Flatts. And Lacuna Coil's version of Enjoy the silence..... Feeling good now.... Please can I ask you not to share my secret about prancing round the house

Here comes the rain again.....

Its been a bit of a week one why and another......

The snow has scarpered any attempts of me doing any serious walking...... or partaking with fat joggers. That has meant I have been unable to release any of my endorphins (I Love endorphins). So tomorrow, I will embark on changing that...... just across the road is a rather smart gym complex, which will soon be opening a new swimming pool. I will possibly put my name down for some that! No excuse then not to workout come rain, shine or slush. Then off to sportsdirect to purchase possibly two pairs of trainers, I'm feeling flush. In the afternoon, I will be running around after my nephew, in the hope that I can burn off the energy that works so well at keeping him up all night, which in turn means that I don't sleep either.

Can I just say, most of the time I sleep soundly and when I wake up I resemble a tall sloth like creature. Now, when my nephew stays, if I hear him fall out of bed, I move like a gazelle. I get rather impressed at the speed. I can't move like that during normal waking hours. It really is something to witness! The funny thing is I move the same where when my nephew, at 2am, demands "Aunty Moo - Milk!" There is a draw back to this, I forget to remind Jacob my nephew that he is missing a very important word. PLEASE..... 

He is going through a phase of not sleeping, I need to make plans to run some of this excess energy down. This could mean a trip to sainsburys, to make him walk miles. Sainsburys are currently stocking Cars 2 diecast models, some of which my nephew doesn't have. I can spend the £50 vouchers that British Telecommunications kindly gave me for upgrading my broadband to infinity. I do like an added bonus.

So in true time honoured tradition its off to bed for me - have a good weekend y'all xx

I few home comforts makes the world of difference..

Got to LOVE the snow!!!!





Greetings, so today was interesting after last nights unexpected deluge of snow  in the south west of England. Even though the situation was worse than last Friday, it was felt by the powers that be, my place of employment be opened up! Which meant I had no option but to walk the 1.3 miles into work. Causing my already damaged Achilles tendon to hurt even more. I have had to put off jogging this evening as well; which I am obviously going to have to make up for next week.

That was the bad stuff from today.....

The positive side, it started snowing again, and just to be on the safe side I managed to get a lift home earlier, and brought some work home to do. A most productive day and because I was at home, I could control my environment. Stronger drugs for my ankle, cups of tea, hot food, comfort. It was wonderful, but the best thing was, and I know this is so not classy to admit, I could pass wind and no one was about to hear me. The relief was immense  I can't do that sort of thing at work. So I sit there and hope that the feeling just goes away.

Its a trauma thing you see...... I once went on holiday with my family, I was subjected to each member of the family passing gas in quick succession. This turn of events haunted me so greatly that I have never been able to break wind in public. Unless of course it's involuntarily. Sad story, really and very true.

My VooDoo Doll, just in case! 

Anyway - I hope everyone is safe and sound, having a warm night. I need to go and look for a chicken wrapped in bacon recipe for my supper tomorrow :)

Now lets think positive......

Nope! It's still winter and I'm still suffering from SAD, which is just bloody rude. I need some sun, a friend has suggested a sun bed. Thing is I need the extra stuff that goes with it like sand and sea.

Now in true time honoured tradition we, in the south west of England have had snow forecast for later on today. Lets hope this time its consistency isn't that of a slush puppy! I will update later when I can say more!

19.13 Oh snow! I have taken I few pictures, it looks pretty, shame the consistency is just as I predicted. So no snow person building for me! It doesn't stop me wanting to go for a wander in it. maybe I should don my bright yellow water proof trousers, super water/wind proof jacket, and my no fear beanie.......... I really need some help with my wardrobe chooses.

There is no sign of let up so I find myself looking on the Internet for snow shovels and rock salt. I used all my table salt on Friday last week, I think my neighbours thought I was a tad on the strange side but lets face it, I am! It must have looked like I was trying to season my drive!!!

I'm off for a walk in the snow....I will up load some photos soon :)

A request!!!

Oh my goodness me, I have just been asked where today's blog is!! The original Monday blog is still in draft.... its about Health and Safety!!! So it'll remain a work in progress for sometime I think... I have lots to say on the topic

I had a lovely dinner this evening, creamed potato, oven cooked sausages, and roasted glazed carrots and parsnips, and I managed to find a new glue. It was by accident who knew that butter honey and balsamic vinegar could produce such a substance that could weld itself with such force to the bottom of a sauce pan.

Today I excepted I can no longer use the "growing pains" excuse for all the aches and pains that I suffer from. I have had to reclassify as "growing old pains"..........

I may have made a little bit of a fashion faux pas, I ordered two celtic rings. They turned up today at work thing is they only fit my wedding ring finger!! I might be giving off the wrong impression! (So that'll improve my chances!)

I think I had better just finish there (I feel that I have sunk to a new low)  it's past my bed time! Night all

Gosh it's dark!

I have successfully broken my"butchers" cherry! Yesterday my father, my nephew and I went to the best butcher in the land, Pyne's. What a place, for those of you who like you meat! I spoilt myself with 6 of their best sausages, 2 plain chicken breasts and 2 Cajun chicken breasts. I do so like a nice bit of breast. I also like the tradition of such a place!

Today was a trip to the supermarket. What joy, people invading my personal space, and cutting me up with their trollies. Why I have not succumbed to the joys of Internet shopping, I believe is this, I'm afraid that if I do I just might turn into a recluse. Not because I'm scared of going out... No quiet the contrary to protect the individuals from my wrath which is steadily increasing because of their ineptitude to behave in public. The social wrongs that we witness on a daily basis, mothers screaming obscenities at their young children, people on their mobile phones while ignoring the cashier who is serving them. It's just bloody rude!

OMG.... I'm being so effing boring! I'm usually funny in my rantings, but not today. Apologies hopefully tomorrow's ravings will be rather more enjoyable

4 seasons.....

I was meant to be going to watch the Rocky Horror Show at the Bristol Hippodrome this evening. But due to the adverse weather conditions the decision not to go has been made for me. Sub-zero temperatures and the fact that my Achilles' tendon is swollen = no Saturday night fun for me!

The whole weekend is spoilt, and I'm just not prepared for snow.... I blame this unpreparedness on the fact there is no defined four seasons these days. When I was growing up, spring was warm, and full of blossom. Summer was hot with hose pipe bans, autumn was cooler with warmer colours on the trees. Winter was cold, with snow and icy conditions that we always managed to cope with!

These days spring.... Rain summer and warm Rain autumn rain winter cold and rain! Global warming has a lot to answer for, but so to the building companies, as they seem to think its wise to build on flood plans is a sensible idea. So year round rain and the building companies stupidity = wide spread flooding.

So when we do get a seasonal snow flurry we are stuck... Wanting 4x4's sledges and better quality snow! What we in the southwest of England were subjected to was substandard snow..... Slush!

Which hangs around for short periods and makes it impossible if it freezes!!! I would love to live a place that still has defined seasons. Please someone help me out, where on this planet still has 4 seasons????

A Dump!

Great a dump..... as its referred to in Canada. The UK is being subjected to impressive snowfall. Bridgwater on the other hand is being subjected to a white substance that vaguely looks like snow but is in fact slush! Which is from the same family as snow but its wetter! The results of this unfamiliar substance is extraordinary,some things are forced by health and safety to just close down, while others seem to thrive.

As I work for an educational establishment it was thought, due to the adverse weather conditions, best not to risk it. So I embark on a trip for supplies. You might like to think of it as panic buying, I call it - having a craving for white bread, bacon and eggs. Plus I wanted to see if there was any way I could get some good films for a bargain price to keep me entertained for the rest of the day, but I was sadly disappointed.

I had a massage last night, a proper Swedish Massage, for whose of you who who don't me..... beauty therapy isn't usually my thing.... the whole idea of getting your kit off for someone you are paying doesn't come easy.

I'm so not feeling the creative drive for my blog today....... I'll try again tomorrow sorry people x

Windy.....

I don’t believe it! I just deleted the funniest blog to date… I will have to try and remember the wording!!!

Today I was going to talk about loud noises, but I feel myself for some reason being drawn to talking about medication, getting older and trapped wind.

Over the past four or five years I have been taking more and more herbal remedies to slow down the effects of getting older, in the vague hope that I remain at a certain level of human. My doctors (plural as I can never regularly see the Doctor listed on my medical card) keep giving me tablets for this and that, also to maintain a certain level of human!

The thing with getting older, a mixture of drugs and the everyday beatings that our bodies are exposed to in some people can create side effects…. For example irritable bowel syndrome or IBS as its more commonly referred to. This in turn leads to feelings of bloating and a sense that “my trousers weren’t this tight yesterday!” But the most debilitating effect can be that of trapped wind…..

The only truly successful way of reducing the pressure caused by this build up is “assuming the position”, which I’m sure is actually a well-known yoga position but I don’t appear to be able to locate the name….. Basically start with hands and knees on the floor, lower upper body then by leaning on elbows. This insures that bottom is firmly pointing north. Then concentrate, this should allow the methane to escape successfully.

This is a very personal experience and the manoeuvre should not be performed in view or in ear shot of any other individual. Also the topic should never be talked about in social circles as it is “an etiquette no no”.  Close friends and family might be happy to talk about the way the body functions but unless you are sure that the subject can be approached best just write about it in a blog for the whole world to read about!!!

Have a good day one and all.

Fat Joggers UK: Level 2 Sammay

Fat Joggers UK: Level 2 Sammay: Tonight, Sammay surpassed herself and successfully completed week 2 run 1. Yay! It was a good run, despite the fact that it was not only r...

There maybe trouble ahead.......

So this is the first day this week that I haven't walked in..... I'm feeling a small sense of failure! But I do have to race home tonight to get to my session with fat joggers....... So actually no I'm still going to manage to do some form of activity. (Small sense of failure has now gone!)

Last nights 3 miler was a little short and managed to include consuming about 1600 calories. What a wonderful result. My walking partner Karen, was great company and managed to keep up, even if there was a very slight difference in stature..... all of 2 inches!

So thought for today..... light! While sometimes considered by many as both beautiful and useful; it can, I think, also be a hindrance. Who's wonderful idea was the strip lighting!!!! No one likes it and yet you find these in more or less every business across the world. I am particularly susceptible to its aura because I am "special". So much so that that my brain has a tendency to overreact whenever I am in an office......  Now why is it no one has managed to produce a cost effective way of lighting an office that doesn't use this intrusive vulgar light. I'm sure that strip lights have a huge effect on the amount of people that suffer from S.A.D. I will leave you with this thought...... I would be interested to hear your views on the subject