Backed into a corner.....

Not having the best time..... A certain person has decided that no matter what I do it's the wrong thing and everything that comes out of my mouth is clearly a lie!
Which is a little bizarre as some of my friends describe me as most conscience. The whole situation is exhausting, and quite frankly I've had enough....

What I do next is just brilliance if I do say so myself. While getting my slow cooker ready for tomorrow and washing up done (Yes I can do two things at once! Cheeky) I put my iShuffle on with some wonderful tracks, and I start prancing, yes prancing, around my house, obviously this released my favourite endorphins which made me feel so much better..... Then with my Nerf gun I took some target practice. I know it isn't a real gun aiming at a certain object, but I've learnt beggars can't be choosers

So now I'm listening to backwards a track by the very talented band Rascal Flatts. And Lacuna Coil's version of Enjoy the silence..... Feeling good now.... Please can I ask you not to share my secret about prancing round the house

Here comes the rain again.....

Its been a bit of a week one why and another......

The snow has scarpered any attempts of me doing any serious walking...... or partaking with fat joggers. That has meant I have been unable to release any of my endorphins (I Love endorphins). So tomorrow, I will embark on changing that...... just across the road is a rather smart gym complex, which will soon be opening a new swimming pool. I will possibly put my name down for some that! No excuse then not to workout come rain, shine or slush. Then off to sportsdirect to purchase possibly two pairs of trainers, I'm feeling flush. In the afternoon, I will be running around after my nephew, in the hope that I can burn off the energy that works so well at keeping him up all night, which in turn means that I don't sleep either.

Can I just say, most of the time I sleep soundly and when I wake up I resemble a tall sloth like creature. Now, when my nephew stays, if I hear him fall out of bed, I move like a gazelle. I get rather impressed at the speed. I can't move like that during normal waking hours. It really is something to witness! The funny thing is I move the same where when my nephew, at 2am, demands "Aunty Moo - Milk!" There is a draw back to this, I forget to remind Jacob my nephew that he is missing a very important word. PLEASE..... 

He is going through a phase of not sleeping, I need to make plans to run some of this excess energy down. This could mean a trip to sainsburys, to make him walk miles. Sainsburys are currently stocking Cars 2 diecast models, some of which my nephew doesn't have. I can spend the £50 vouchers that British Telecommunications kindly gave me for upgrading my broadband to infinity. I do like an added bonus.

So in true time honoured tradition its off to bed for me - have a good weekend y'all xx

I few home comforts makes the world of difference..

Got to LOVE the snow!!!!





Greetings, so today was interesting after last nights unexpected deluge of snow  in the south west of England. Even though the situation was worse than last Friday, it was felt by the powers that be, my place of employment be opened up! Which meant I had no option but to walk the 1.3 miles into work. Causing my already damaged Achilles tendon to hurt even more. I have had to put off jogging this evening as well; which I am obviously going to have to make up for next week.

That was the bad stuff from today.....

The positive side, it started snowing again, and just to be on the safe side I managed to get a lift home earlier, and brought some work home to do. A most productive day and because I was at home, I could control my environment. Stronger drugs for my ankle, cups of tea, hot food, comfort. It was wonderful, but the best thing was, and I know this is so not classy to admit, I could pass wind and no one was about to hear me. The relief was immense  I can't do that sort of thing at work. So I sit there and hope that the feeling just goes away.

Its a trauma thing you see...... I once went on holiday with my family, I was subjected to each member of the family passing gas in quick succession. This turn of events haunted me so greatly that I have never been able to break wind in public. Unless of course it's involuntarily. Sad story, really and very true.

My VooDoo Doll, just in case! 

Anyway - I hope everyone is safe and sound, having a warm night. I need to go and look for a chicken wrapped in bacon recipe for my supper tomorrow :)

Now lets think positive......

Nope! It's still winter and I'm still suffering from SAD, which is just bloody rude. I need some sun, a friend has suggested a sun bed. Thing is I need the extra stuff that goes with it like sand and sea.

Now in true time honoured tradition we, in the south west of England have had snow forecast for later on today. Lets hope this time its consistency isn't that of a slush puppy! I will update later when I can say more!

19.13 Oh snow! I have taken I few pictures, it looks pretty, shame the consistency is just as I predicted. So no snow person building for me! It doesn't stop me wanting to go for a wander in it. maybe I should don my bright yellow water proof trousers, super water/wind proof jacket, and my no fear beanie.......... I really need some help with my wardrobe chooses.

There is no sign of let up so I find myself looking on the Internet for snow shovels and rock salt. I used all my table salt on Friday last week, I think my neighbours thought I was a tad on the strange side but lets face it, I am! It must have looked like I was trying to season my drive!!!

I'm off for a walk in the snow....I will up load some photos soon :)

A request!!!

Oh my goodness me, I have just been asked where today's blog is!! The original Monday blog is still in draft.... its about Health and Safety!!! So it'll remain a work in progress for sometime I think... I have lots to say on the topic

I had a lovely dinner this evening, creamed potato, oven cooked sausages, and roasted glazed carrots and parsnips, and I managed to find a new glue. It was by accident who knew that butter honey and balsamic vinegar could produce such a substance that could weld itself with such force to the bottom of a sauce pan.

Today I excepted I can no longer use the "growing pains" excuse for all the aches and pains that I suffer from. I have had to reclassify as "growing old pains"..........

I may have made a little bit of a fashion faux pas, I ordered two celtic rings. They turned up today at work thing is they only fit my wedding ring finger!! I might be giving off the wrong impression! (So that'll improve my chances!)

I think I had better just finish there (I feel that I have sunk to a new low)  it's past my bed time! Night all

Gosh it's dark!

I have successfully broken my"butchers" cherry! Yesterday my father, my nephew and I went to the best butcher in the land, Pyne's. What a place, for those of you who like you meat! I spoilt myself with 6 of their best sausages, 2 plain chicken breasts and 2 Cajun chicken breasts. I do so like a nice bit of breast. I also like the tradition of such a place!

Today was a trip to the supermarket. What joy, people invading my personal space, and cutting me up with their trollies. Why I have not succumbed to the joys of Internet shopping, I believe is this, I'm afraid that if I do I just might turn into a recluse. Not because I'm scared of going out... No quiet the contrary to protect the individuals from my wrath which is steadily increasing because of their ineptitude to behave in public. The social wrongs that we witness on a daily basis, mothers screaming obscenities at their young children, people on their mobile phones while ignoring the cashier who is serving them. It's just bloody rude!

OMG.... I'm being so effing boring! I'm usually funny in my rantings, but not today. Apologies hopefully tomorrow's ravings will be rather more enjoyable

4 seasons.....

I was meant to be going to watch the Rocky Horror Show at the Bristol Hippodrome this evening. But due to the adverse weather conditions the decision not to go has been made for me. Sub-zero temperatures and the fact that my Achilles' tendon is swollen = no Saturday night fun for me!

The whole weekend is spoilt, and I'm just not prepared for snow.... I blame this unpreparedness on the fact there is no defined four seasons these days. When I was growing up, spring was warm, and full of blossom. Summer was hot with hose pipe bans, autumn was cooler with warmer colours on the trees. Winter was cold, with snow and icy conditions that we always managed to cope with!

These days spring.... Rain summer and warm Rain autumn rain winter cold and rain! Global warming has a lot to answer for, but so to the building companies, as they seem to think its wise to build on flood plans is a sensible idea. So year round rain and the building companies stupidity = wide spread flooding.

So when we do get a seasonal snow flurry we are stuck... Wanting 4x4's sledges and better quality snow! What we in the southwest of England were subjected to was substandard snow..... Slush!

Which hangs around for short periods and makes it impossible if it freezes!!! I would love to live a place that still has defined seasons. Please someone help me out, where on this planet still has 4 seasons????

A Dump!

Great a dump..... as its referred to in Canada. The UK is being subjected to impressive snowfall. Bridgwater on the other hand is being subjected to a white substance that vaguely looks like snow but is in fact slush! Which is from the same family as snow but its wetter! The results of this unfamiliar substance is extraordinary,some things are forced by health and safety to just close down, while others seem to thrive.

As I work for an educational establishment it was thought, due to the adverse weather conditions, best not to risk it. So I embark on a trip for supplies. You might like to think of it as panic buying, I call it - having a craving for white bread, bacon and eggs. Plus I wanted to see if there was any way I could get some good films for a bargain price to keep me entertained for the rest of the day, but I was sadly disappointed.

I had a massage last night, a proper Swedish Massage, for whose of you who who don't me..... beauty therapy isn't usually my thing.... the whole idea of getting your kit off for someone you are paying doesn't come easy.

I'm so not feeling the creative drive for my blog today....... I'll try again tomorrow sorry people x

Windy.....

I don’t believe it! I just deleted the funniest blog to date… I will have to try and remember the wording!!!

Today I was going to talk about loud noises, but I feel myself for some reason being drawn to talking about medication, getting older and trapped wind.

Over the past four or five years I have been taking more and more herbal remedies to slow down the effects of getting older, in the vague hope that I remain at a certain level of human. My doctors (plural as I can never regularly see the Doctor listed on my medical card) keep giving me tablets for this and that, also to maintain a certain level of human!

The thing with getting older, a mixture of drugs and the everyday beatings that our bodies are exposed to in some people can create side effects…. For example irritable bowel syndrome or IBS as its more commonly referred to. This in turn leads to feelings of bloating and a sense that “my trousers weren’t this tight yesterday!” But the most debilitating effect can be that of trapped wind…..

The only truly successful way of reducing the pressure caused by this build up is “assuming the position”, which I’m sure is actually a well-known yoga position but I don’t appear to be able to locate the name….. Basically start with hands and knees on the floor, lower upper body then by leaning on elbows. This insures that bottom is firmly pointing north. Then concentrate, this should allow the methane to escape successfully.

This is a very personal experience and the manoeuvre should not be performed in view or in ear shot of any other individual. Also the topic should never be talked about in social circles as it is “an etiquette no no”.  Close friends and family might be happy to talk about the way the body functions but unless you are sure that the subject can be approached best just write about it in a blog for the whole world to read about!!!

Have a good day one and all.

Fat Joggers UK: Level 2 Sammay

Fat Joggers UK: Level 2 Sammay: Tonight, Sammay surpassed herself and successfully completed week 2 run 1. Yay! It was a good run, despite the fact that it was not only r...

There maybe trouble ahead.......

So this is the first day this week that I haven't walked in..... I'm feeling a small sense of failure! But I do have to race home tonight to get to my session with fat joggers....... So actually no I'm still going to manage to do some form of activity. (Small sense of failure has now gone!)

Last nights 3 miler was a little short and managed to include consuming about 1600 calories. What a wonderful result. My walking partner Karen, was great company and managed to keep up, even if there was a very slight difference in stature..... all of 2 inches!

So thought for today..... light! While sometimes considered by many as both beautiful and useful; it can, I think, also be a hindrance. Who's wonderful idea was the strip lighting!!!! No one likes it and yet you find these in more or less every business across the world. I am particularly susceptible to its aura because I am "special". So much so that that my brain has a tendency to overreact whenever I am in an office......  Now why is it no one has managed to produce a cost effective way of lighting an office that doesn't use this intrusive vulgar light. I'm sure that strip lights have a huge effect on the amount of people that suffer from S.A.D. I will leave you with this thought...... I would be interested to hear your views on the subject

Where's the effing snow!!!

Cold conditions this morning, but no sign of frost or snow. Irritation now on a level that we'll refer to as Defcon 3.

It wasn't a bad walk in, in fact a had a very productive morning. I spoilt myself with some French toast, managed to wash up everything so I don't have to return to that this evening. Feeling really good actually. I left a little later this morning so I had to contend with kids looking at me with a puzzled expression, as if to say "why are you wearing shades, it's dark!"
I have a question... I think it's wonderful that parents encourage their children to ride bicycles to school, my question is question. If your kids are the most precious thing, to you, on this earth. Why is it you just supply the bike and no safety equipment like lights etc. Surely to cut down on the amount of accidents that involve children on bikes it would help. Bradley Wiggins I believe you are needed for a safety campaign. I know safety isn't cool, but it does save lives!

Tonight, I have company on my 3 miler. Tomorrow it's my regular Wednesday night with the Fat Joggers! http://fatjoggersuk.blogspot.co.uk/ - Yesterday I managed to walk around 4 miles so I'm doing ok. My sister is getting me a fitbit so I will be able to keep a closer eye on exactly what I'm doing. Bring on my healthier lifestyle :)

Have a good day

GET OUT OF MY WAY

So I have these good intentions - to walk to and from work..... I'm not sure why I bother.  Three people riding on bicycles committed the offence of riding on a pavement. That's like me walking in the middle of the road and holding up traffic.

For those of you who are unaware:

The basic offence
It’s an offence to ride your bike on any footpath or causeway which is by the side of any road and which is set apart for the accommodation of foot passengers. (HA 1835, s. 72)
If you commit this offence a constable in uniform can give you a fixed penalty of £30a community support officer can also hand out £30 FPNs. (RTOA ss. 51, 54; Sch 3; FPO Sch 1; PRA02 ss. 38, 38A; Sch 4 para. 1(2), (3); PRA(CSO) artt. 2, 3, Schedule)
Alternatively you can be prosecuted in the courts, in which case the maximum penalty is a fine of £500 plus liability for any damage you cause. (HA 1835 s. 72)

If you can tell, I really do suffer from OCD - which thanks to certain issues is getting worse. Things that attribute to my Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour

• Cyclists riding on the footpaths
• internal mail envelopes
• washing up and clothes washing needs to be done in a certain order
• swearing
• bad driving
• packing of grocery shopping needs to be done in a certain order

The effects my internal voice gets louder, stress and blood pressure levels go up. Quite frankly I should be locked away given medication and spend the rest of my days in lala land. I know a little on the extreme side but it will come to the point someday where I will find myself in a corner rocking backward and forward, singing kumbaya and dribbling.

Ok thank you for listening, I'm going to get back in my box now, rant over.... Time to get on with some work - have a good day :)

Early mornings!!!! Wrong on so many levels

Here's the thing I've woken up, thanks to my dreadful sleep patten, to find over powering thoughts rising from the deep abyss that it is my brain but also to a stench that is so grotesque I feel I should be choking on it! The production of such a smell can be blamed on the "just in case" nappy my nephew is wearing. As I'm not a parent, I'm left with a confusing decision do I change the nappy and try not to wake up the sleeping boy or do I leave it to fester and endanger the unblemished baby soft skin that covers my nephew from top to toe...... (I not helped by the fact that I used the word fester).

Do I don the PPE (personal protection equipment for those of you unaware of such an abbreviation) for what should be referred to as operation sweet smell!

UPDATE 4.04 am (very am) my nephew has just demanded to have smelly nappy removed and replaced. OH MY GOD I need therapy now, that nappy seemed to contain the most toxic substance I have ever come across. I have been informed now by a reliable source that medicine was used to aid in the production of toxic slime.

The stench still remains and the contaminated nappy now resides at the bottom of my wheelie bin.... Yes I had to brave the arctic conditions dressed only in a vest top and cut offs to place offending item in an area for substance control!

Time to see if both my nephew and myself can return to productive sleep. Wish us luck!

I can't stand the rain

Is this despicable weather ever going to stop. I've had to go out and purchase multivitamins with vitamin D to try and help with my SAD. On the bright side at least I managed to get my shopping done before the plebs descended. The manners if the cashier impeccable, the only downside was having to carry my own body x2 home..... Still hopefully that sort of attitude will keep fit.

Here's to a product and positive day and i look forward to Tomorrows breakfast French toast and bacon :-)

Moo!

Pictured above is my moterbike "The Moo". My trusty steed! Just thought I'd add a picture for some light entertainment..... I'm very proud of her, she maybe a little cranky at times, but I love her!  
I haven't been walking in the last 24 hours - so nothing to report...... I could talk about people who are socially and professionally inept, but it might get me into a lot of trouble. Sorry todays blog is light on the ground.

Hope you enjoy the picture :)

Oh ya bike.......

So I did this experiment using my motorcycle........ Dressed from head to toe in bright yellow with the customary reflective strips I embarked on my adventures on the open road..... only to find that when dressed like Big Bird certain drivers are completely blind to my presences on the road. I am less likely to have car/lorry/van drivers pull out in front of me when I'm all in black with my black bike!

The above is my voodoo doll which I will start using for ignorant drivers who continue to be blind to my existance on the highway and endanger my life with their ineptitude!

Before I start my whinging!!!!

Hello all

MY friends and family are wonderful people, and think a huge amount of me. They would use words like caring, sharing, smart thoughtful..... I won't go on, just in case it provokes vomiting. I think its actually about time I let everyone into what goes on in my head!!! To be honest the best time is when I have been out walking...... I'm like a cow chewing the cud. I suppose that might be why my nickname is Moo!!!

I hope you enjoy what is forth coming!