My body is a temple...... no its a work in progress!

I walked out of the house this morning ready to take on the next challenge - Core class at the gym. I was really keen and really looking forward to it. The five minute walk even though it was fraught with danger (trees being dismantled rather close to the footpath) didn't deter me. The wonderful feeling didn't dissipate until 2 minutes into the start of the class itself, when my heart rate shot through the roof, and the lactic acid had managed to hijacked my entire body. Breathing had become a labour intensive act that if I wasn't being reminded to do I would have forgotten. And this is just the start of the class.

Well as you'd imagine the class contained some outstanding moves to help you with your core..... Thing is, as it transpires, I DONT HAVE A CORE! The holding and repetitive moves I just couldn't complete. I started missing my Pilates instructor, Hugo. I feel the need to make I LOVE HUGO T-Shirts. Oh I digress.

Anyway we get to the end of the class, and its time for stretching, which as I could barley move at this point, was almost impossible. the colour of my face is now the same colour as someone that has an alcohol problem. Which then brings me to the walk home, I had to maintain a composure that didn't make me look like I needed someone to call an ambulance. This task was successfully executed, all the way to my front door. Upon managing to unlock and open, I fell flat on my face. Hopefully out of shot of my neighbours! I crawled to the kitchen where I opened a can of cherry coke, two packets of onion rings and a chunky kitkat.

I should have had breakfast before I left this morning! Note to self get up earlier.

I love the fact that I have managed to make an early exercise class, I don't like the fact that compared to the others that attend I look like this...... See below

 

Anyway I will stick with it, one day I will have the body that I want..... mind you I might have to go out and nick it!!!

 

Have a good day one and all

 

FARTes and friendship

What a week. Life affirming really. Too much time spent at the gym and taking part in exercise classes that I'm punching a little (a lot) above my weight in! A well respected colleague has managed to explain something to me that I should have realised myself. Some people are just under developed! Blongs are wonderful therapy for venting as long as they are done in a healthy way.

 

 



Yesterday during Pilates I was focusing on my core, my pelvic floor and controlling the most powerful of all my body parts, containing my wind/gas! I'm not entirely sure why this bodily function is so prolific. May be its just my increasing age. 

 

Anyway I have come up with a new range on t-shirts for people like me to wear to the gym.. "Intimidated gym member" this can work on many levels. For those, like myself you will be placed close to the speakers to hopefully drown out the noise of what your body may produce during the workout. I find myself going more and more in the hope that I'll find this six pack that everyone goes on about!

 

I found a post  on Facebook full of swearing and insinuating that people were judgemental. The whole thing was so poorly written I had to make a comment and this is my response "If you are going to rant about you affliction, at the very least make sure you do it in an eloquent manner that is worthy of the respect you obviously long for." Swearing when making a statement belittles the point, making it pointless! After I had written this I realised that I am turning into my mother. Scary really

 

When you grow up, someone somewhere always reminds you that daughters always turn into their mothers. But the likehood of this, at the time, that this ever happening is so remote.... then of course there seems to be a critical time. (This time for me was the birth of my nephew.)  It's almost like a switch has been flicked, in the same way teenagers and their "issues" kick off at that age.

 

I am hoping my friends stand by me in this transitional phase of my life and assist with keeping me fully grounded.

 

 



Me at the gym!

 





Early birds don't necessarly get the worm....

I was woken early this morning by the sound of a friend messaging me. We had planned to venture early to the gym to get a circuit down before the masses got there. I managed to throw on some clothes and crawl downstairs to make a cup of tea.... (I really should have made it coffee!) as I thought that I had plenty of time to drink it.

I embarked on sorting out the stuff that I wanted to take to the gym, have a couple of puffs on the old inhalers, in the hope that my lungs would remain fully inflated during our work out. Just as I took a sip of my tea my friend arrived and burst through my door. The sense of calm was broken and it was time to make our way to the gym..... Can I just say that the gym reminds me of a medevil torcher chamber, the only difference being that the equipment has a modern twist and its better lit. Instead of a draft you have air conditioning.

Anyway, we started walking to the gym all keen and very much up for a session of sweating. Its only a 5 minute walk or so. I notice that the car park is empty, jolly good, no one to witness my attepts at keeping fit.





An illustration of my figure!

So we arrive at the gym complex, at 0815, only to find its shut, the doors don't open till 0930. HOW STUPID do we feel! You can imagine our disappointment. But we have learnt a very valuable lesson. CHECK OPENING TIMES. Not everyone is up at the weekend at stupid o'clock as we were.

I have managed to attend the gym everyday this weekend,either workingout or playing badminton and tomorrow I am booked into a Pilates class. Only one thing that is being a rather large hindrance and causing some concern. Cramp and lactic acid build up in my legs. My bodies way of telling me I'm unfit... which is just bloody rude if you ask me.

Anyway on our return the 'keen' feeling had subsided, spoilt by the fact that we should have known better and we felt really silly.

It wasn't a complete EPIC FAIL, just a little one.

The rest of the day has been must more constructive. My assignment is almost finished and I have managed to get some supplies in. A good day all in all.

I hope you have had a good one, and have enjoyed my silly ramblings.



I know I shouldn't but....

Today I was playing badminton with a friend. On the court next to us was a chap that was very obviously trying to revive a trend that went out when John McEnroe retired. Head and wristbands, equipped with new badminton racket. This dude must have been mid forties and he had arrived with three young lads. He started playing a singles match with one lad and the facial features said it all. As this bloke battled to run round after the shuttlecock he's was sticking his tongue out, almost like a panting dog..... As the score was mounting against him, this expression was magnified, what didn't help either were his glasses seemed to be a throw back from a long list era.

I had to request that I change sides because it was getting to the point were I just couldn't compose myself and if I had carried on my Pilates core exercise wouldn't have been able to control a certain part of my anatomy.

A little sleepy........

Sometimes I just see things that I believe are so beautiful I just need to share them....

 

 

I have finally managed to complete 67% of my assignment which is 66% more than I had done this morning... What a relief. I have also managed to eat properly and play 45 minutes of badminton, do all my clothes washing.

 

So calling it a day on the old studying front.

 

Earlier I went off to the gym and on my way back I noticed a white hire van, with three guys sat in it ogling myself and my friend. This begs the question, from a social science point of view, is it just the vehicle that encourages this behaviour or could it be the number of man in close proximity to each other or could it be something else? Just food for thought.

 

So now the creative juices, I have to make plans to do the following in the coming months

1.  Plan a charity event that involves the entire community. This I have called big/little league, on the 6th July I plan to have a large game of baseball, at a location yet to be anounced, and will be in aid of Luke Buckingham http://www.justgiving.com/LukesLeukaemiaSideline
2. Then on the 8th September I will be partaking in a charity event that is called the bra run. http://www.bra-run.co.uk/

Busy busy busy..... shame I have missed my nephew this weekend. He is such a big part of my life now that when my routine of spending time with him is interrupted, just like this weekend I feel like a huge part of me is missing. We geton so well. I put that down to the fact that we are the same mental age.

 

I need to get off this computer. I have spent far too much time on this today.

 

 

  

My Brain isn't playing ball!!!

 

 

This picture just sums up exactly how I feel right now. I have taken two days off work in the hope that I can write a 1500 word assignment over the weekend and have it handed in by Monday lunch time. It's not going well. I can't even bring myself to say anything remotely funny..... OH MY GOD I have writers block.

So I have now just returned from the gym after hammering out about 200 calories and I have come up with a theory. I have not sorted out my recycling into its correct receptacles. so that is what I'm about to do. Sort out recycling, get myself showered and changed and fed.

Along with the writers block I had an EPIC FAIL when participation with FAT JOGGERS on Wednesday night. I didn't really assist in helping the skittle team I play for, the Tri-ards, win last night. Well done ladies we have have rocked this season. Maybe I have some kind of blockage..... energy, mental, psychological, lower intestine!

OK - time to revert to list writing. That always helps in this situation maybe timetable the weekend. I know this sounds like a real OCD thing do to but it works. Refocus and I will achieve my goals....... I really need to stop leaving my studying to the last minute. I can't use the excuse I have writers block to get an extension. Another EPIC FAIL this week is not acceptable. the due date for my assignment is Tuesday at 12pm. I WILL have it in 24 hours before deadline. I have a Pilates class that I have booked and I refuse to miss it.

I need success, I can and I will achieve this weekend. 800 words tomorrow and 750 words on Sunday, electronically submit on Monday.

Wish me luck people

 



The Perils of a finance office

What a day, due to some twist of fate (or something like that) the paperwork in the finance office has built up to levels of catastrophic proportion. Dangerous levels for paper protruding for their "waiting to be filed" trays, leaning in a way that requires some kind of scaffolding. So as part of Operation "Piles" I set about putting a two foot pile of paperwork into alphabetical order (strict alphabetical order). As you can imagine the job is very monotonous, but does have its dangerous side if you allow you concentration levels to drop. As a result of this exact reason, I have now sustained injuries, paper cuts on my hands. You know very well that a paper cut can be the most painful of injuries. Resulting in you becoming a whingeing pain to the people around you, because they can't see what is causing so much pain, and actually they think you're a wimp.... cos its not even bleeding.  To add to my discomfort, the sorting of this paperwork took me 6 hours..... Funny really that they ask the ONLY dyslexic in the office to file paperwork in alphabetical order.

Anything that appears to be related to Finance gets a bit of a tough rap. There are such strict rules and regulations to stay on the right side of the law, and twice a year we have visits from groups of individuals that come in and scrutinise every action that is taken. These individuals are called auditors and they make anyone working within the office very nervous. It's not because of what we do, because believe me the staff in a finance office are totally kosher, but a microscopic hiccup and they pounce like a pack of starving wolves ravaging a carcass. It's a bit like the opening lines of H.G Wells, War of the Worlds.  "No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own". Well almost, the bit about intelligences greater than mans is a little bit over exaggerated, in most cases!

So hopefully this explanation of just one of the difficulties might give you a slightly better idea why it appears that anyone who works in a financial roll can't deviate from the regulations. We're not boring people, we are just more squeaky clean than anyone else walking the planet. Please also take note never ever ask us to explain what we do. I tried it once and I fell asleep.

Lets have a hug a Finance Assistant Day

Procrastinating Me.......

Early morning wake up this morning. Which has exasperated my feelings of exhaustion and drainage from the week that I have just been dragged through. Running out of steam very rapidly. I was planning on going to the gym and starting on my assignment today. I had to rethink my day, so after completion of the weekend cooking for meals of the week! and 3 loads of washing, feeding myself and my nephew. I settled down in front of Daniel Craig and slept for 3 hours. Not great when you have an assignment deadline date looming and you really must start exercising more (cos lets face it, I ain't getting any younger and my body is getting heavier!)

Food seems to be taking over my life again, well more the interest in the way it tastes. I will blame that on the fact that I gave up smoking and I can now taste how food should be experienced. One problem, I seem to have developed a sweet tooth!

I noticed that I had purchased a box of special k chilli snack things, which I thought was a good idea. 21 individual crisp like entities = 93 calories. But the box contains more than 21 CLE's. So if you have an impulsive nature, as I do, how are you expected to just open the box and leave it at 21! Or the other thing, are you really going to stand in your kitchen and count crisps! Why couldn't they just put the damn things in pre-weighed packaging! It's not as if they put much thought into the packaging...... I mean one cardboard box, and a foil bag on the inside. Too much to think about really.

Tomorrow, I will embark on a game of badminton, and maybe sometime in the gym. Not sure if I should book in on Monday for an extra Pilates class. I'm still feeling the pain from the last session. Really enjoyed it, so may have to do yoga too. Anything to ease the joints and keep things balanced. And actually tone my body to lesser the need for a tummy bra! I'm hoping for a better body shape, so rather than a retangle I would like to obtain a couple of trangles...... you can tell I have done the maths on this one!!!



   

What a feeling......

What a good day, well it was more a good evening. Albeit a journey into the unknown! Started off with a very successful jogging session, with a couple of extra runners this evening in the guise of my mum and dad's miniature dachshunds, Dolly and Maude. Not your average dogs for jogging. They out ran me!

Anyway when we returned I bolted a cheese sandwich and headed for the great unknown, an hour of Pilates at the gym near my home.

Eighteen willing people and me.... a nervous person who had no idea what I was letting myself in for! I soon learnt that its all about stretching and breathing and balance. Something which if you suffer from bouts of gas could have been very embarrassing. I would have been mortified if I was rooking backward and forward and farting at the same time. My body was being kind and only noises it made were the breathing sounds and also a few cracking noises from joints that hadn't been moved like that in a very long time.

So after that, I returned and contacted my gym buddy. Next week the plan of action is jog with one buddy and pilates and gym with my other buddy. not to mention Badminton and gym at the weekend, with intervals of more OU enlightenment. I need to work on the tubby body that I appear to have now.

Next month, I can  get swimming stuff for the new pool and start to teach my nephew how to swim. The more I think about it the more I'm looking forward to it. His mother , my sister, and I used to be brilliant swimmers. I'm hoping I can share my previous knowledge of water babyness!

oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plains....

I have managed to fix two fence panels today and sustained foreign object injuries. Always sounds so much better than I have got splinters! Tonight seems to be the test as to my abilities to fix things, predicted gusts of up to 28 mph. I will keep you posted to the results.

I also have house guests this evening, Dolly and Maude, my parents miniature wire haired dachshunds. Below you can see Dolly and Maude on the front cover of their dog groomers book!

Big picture Sorry I can't tell which one is which!

So this evening we have been out for a walk, it was lovely. I managed to get to know my neighbours and others rather better than I had hoped for. It was bin day today and unless it was anchored to the floor it ended up all over the road!!! Nice. I also have a bit of a beanie issue..... it will not stay on my head. Which just ends up looking stupid, and won't cover my ears! Bumped into my brother in law, he's out on the beat, keeping our streets a safer place. Although that being said hes fairly inadequate with doing anything about storm force winds. (Sorry Ian, but lets face it who does handle the wrath of mother nature.... Lov you Bro - take it steady)

Right time I call it a day, check the fence and head to bed

Night night all

Arse whooping by an eleven year old.......

What a totally wonderful Sunday, filled with all sorts of things but what I actually needed to be getting on with.

I managed to get up early to go foraging for grub! I quickly whipped up a three egg cheese omelet, with a little sauce on the side followed by cooking some sausages to throw in the slow cooker along with onions mushrooms and some kind of cheat mix! I then got dressed with the intention I clean my motorcycle, which took me up to 12pm. Then I decided I wanted some lunch, so I wrapped some chicken mini fillets in parma ham drizzled some chili oil and sprinkled some herbs over them, stuck a pan on for some mash potatoes.

Then my attention was alerted to the downed fence panel in my garden, so with drill in hand and a few screws I set about fixing the darn thing...... may I just say that this fence panel is always taking a leave of absence when its windy. You can guarantee its in my next door neighbours house, and today was no exception. So after dragging it back into my gardern, screwing the bits and pieces back together. I single handly inserted the panel between the two posts, thus rendering my garden safe for my four legged guests.

Returned indoors to find my lunch almost ready, so dished that up. Once lunch was finished I cleared up and got ready to go and play badminton. A friend and her son had arranged to play this afternoon, and of course with my new found kick for keep fit (and stop being a tubby git) I had to give it my all for the entire hour. It was wonderful, I haven't played in a very long time, to be honest I can't remember the last time I played or where.

I didn't start very well, in fact for some reason I couldn't seem to find the shuttlecock! Then I seemed to be hitting it with the frame of the racket. Once we got into the swing of things we started playing some outstanding badminton. The scary thing is when my friend and I were playing a game against her son, the games were rather closer than they should have been. Hopefully we can get in a few more games before we next have a match against him. Its rather telling when a eleven year old almost beats you in a game that he's never played before!

So now with a clean kitchen all washing up done, its time to shower, and relax, and also think about a study plan for the next two weeks.

I also find myself wanting to design a certain something to control fat! as we are aware the bra is a very good invention and something that if is a correct fit can with stand huge amounts of force........ I need something with the same principal for my tubby tummy. I'm currently experiencing a knock on effect. When I am out with Fat Joggers, the reverberations from stomach to chest are so violent that unless tummy is strapped down I am very likely to sustain a head injury! So for the foreseeable future I will be looking at either strapping the stomach or a six pack.... watch this space I'm praying for the six pack and the body I can be proud of....... Wish me luck xx

What an ass of a week

Greetings my friends, I'm sorry for the lack of up date, but I have truly had a really awful time of it. This evening is going to be a time for comfort eating......

The harassment has been above and beyond the normal realms of  human tolerance. Its not been pretty. Its been a case of how many times and in different ways can one individual imply  that you are lying, even when you have witnesses. It truly comes to something when your word which is held in such high regard with the people that matter is completely dismissed by the people with power. What is happening to this world?  

The evil just keeps on growing there currently seems to be no way of stopping this poisonous entity. It's a case of who are you going to call!!

Anyway I'm not subjected to this onslaught 24/7 and I have found the best way of dealing with this torment is going to the gym, Wednesday I embarked on the fitness kick that is going to give me a new lease of life. 30 minutes of "jogging" with the Fat Joggers, followed by a good hour in the gym.

The initial results are wonderful, flooding my body with endorphins a small draw back is the early morning stretch two days after when you push as far as you can with the end result being that of almost passing out for some sudden release of something drug like..... it wasn't so much a draw back its was almost a state of euphoria...

Going to have a really wonderful productive weekend with lots of positive input, and some sun..... which is always good for those of us that suffer from S.A.D. The family is all going to lunch tomorrow at Za Za Bazaar in Bristol...... NICE Yummy! That would be after I get my hair cut and purchase a badminton racket. My afternoon will be made up of looking after a friends son, a bit of home work and then a workout in the gym. Sunday will keep working on my most recent Open University assignment, an game of badminton. I am determined that my positivity will last the entire weekend. I will keep at bay the darkness for as long as possible.

I will end now by saying have a great weekend one and all - talk soon xx