The people we count on............

If we followed the advice from all Disney films we would live in a much happier place. Sadly because of our psychological make up its impossible.

Anyway the start of my weekend, last weekend, was doing a job for my father, my first celebrity photo shoot. the VIP guest speaker none other than Rt Hon Ann Widdecombe....

She is the one dressed in grey, I didn't really know what to expect so I was on tender hooks all day. Stress that actually was wasted, I was joined by a well known photographer from the local paper, Jeff Searle. A lovely chap who let me act as his apprentice for an hour.

I had nothing to worry about actually, while most people were warm and welcoming, some are just shy.... a realisation that equality and diversity isn't maintained or adhered to within a certain set of self centred individuals that actually should know better. No different to what I encounter everyday.

Sometimes though its events like this that highlight my issues, the ones that stop me from getting on in life... Whilst incredibly loyal, very conscientious, and I try very hard with my manners and treating people with respect which is very important to me. I also believe that I deserve to be treated in the same way.

Oh boy I'm off on one, I must reel it in! It becomes boring.....

 

 

 

I found myself in the gym last Sunday.... twice, a total of two and a half hours and 1500 calories burnt off - I may have over done the keenness as this weekend I feel like a remake of the blob, the not so scary low budget version. Currently wrapped up with my house guests wondering what is happening. The idea of a MacDonald's breakfast, well that would have just been pure heaven! Sadly no one on hand to surpress my need!

 

My house guests! Dolly and Maude



 





Oh the drama

OMG.... What can I say some people just can't handle pain.

So as any good friend, I have come with my friend Ellie to support her through the simplest procedure available on the NHS. The insertion of a heart monitor.

So we arrive at the hospital with time to spare, and we go through the process of waiting in the waiting room, not for long. Called into the day surgery ward where the usual checks are carried out, blood pressure good - wonderful saturation levels.... Then out comes the cannula time to find a vain.... First attempt and the nurse is a little unfriendly tries to insert the the needle and starts saying that its bent and Ellie turns a funny colour, and starts complaining that she feels sick, the complaint turns to 'I feel faint'. Then the alarm starts going as Ellie slumps in the chair, I start thinking oh here we go, and move away form the bed to make room for the invading group of staff nurses to gather and move Ellie on to the floor in a health and safety manner, I was very impressed with the speed in which it happened you could almost liken it to the formula one pit stops only Ellie wasn't going to be speeding away once they finished.

 

There was a certain amount of confusion when Ellie came to - she couldn't figure out why she couldn't hear bird song! Then the realisation that she was in fact on the floor of a hospital ward with a bunch of smurfs surrounding her! (nurses in blue scrubs)

 

 

After she recovered and was relocated on the bed, it took another 3 attempts over a two hour period to successfully insert the cannula. I do believe the whole process was dependent on looks. As it was a young doctor called Alex who managed to tap Ellie. Typical ....

What a lightweight.

The 'I feel faint' comment was repeated as the antibiotics and flush was administered...... but thanks to Rebecca, the lovely nurse, a relapse was avoided.

The rest of the time there was otherwise pretty uneventful. :) xx

Sweaty Betty

 

One day I hope to have this body, but its going to take some very hard work!

I have just spent the last hour and a half burning off a total of 757 calories - thing is I noticed that I do appear to produce an excessive amount of perspiration and in areas that that a lady just wouldn't share with most people.

As you know I like to share my experiences with the world in the hope you may learn from my actions.

I have a friend, Emma, who works at my gym and today she said the nicest thing. I can't repeat verbatim cos my memory is so awful, but the general idea was my time puffing and blowing is begining to pay off.

Thing is when I go into the gym I don't look too bad, when I come out, in my minds eye, my face has taken on the persona of a lobster cooking in a pot, my t-shirt is so staturated in perspiration I could put it in the washing machine on spin and get approximately 3 litres of liquid from it. Then of course there is the very personal area!!!!! I feel I would benefit from some kind of absorbent layer..... tena lady maybe...... (sorry TMI, but for some unknown reason I just have to share!)

Tomorrow is my 7pm Pilates and I may have to follow with another hour and half in gym...... but I my have to play it by ear. Thing is I know want to find the best thing to rehydrate so if you have any tips or products that I could use please feel free to speak up.

I do have to say I shouldn't have watched the news while training, I picked a time when Margaret Thatcher's coffin was being moved, the updates from the Boston bombing were coming through thick and fast and Breaking news of a bus crash in the Alps. Nothing positive at all.

HeyHo! best get back to feeding myself and figuring out what will help me burn off this fat!

What is going on with my body! It is having issues.......

I'm so sorry people, I have been neglecting to update y'all on the current events of the day..... what can I say. I have become addicted to the gym. Having joined a gym, my frugal side wants to get its moneys worth! My week consists of 2 sessions of Pilates, a session of yoga, visits to the gym which on average I can burn 750 calories, swimming and badminton. I maybe over doing it, or I maybe be making up for my laziness.

It seems to be giving me such a high, regardless of the aches and pains. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. Like a packet of Pringles once I pop I can't stop...... Endorphins wonderful things.... the only draw back I appear to be over doing the weights and not achieving enough cardio..... since joining the gym I have put on 3.9 kilos...... muscle weighs heavier than fat what can I say!

So as you can tell I haven't really had any time what so ever to carry on with blogging. So much to do and so little time! The human weirdness is passing me by and I'm not writing about it.... so hopefully I can make up for lost time. Thing is when I am in the gym I'm in my own little bubble, a world that is full of nuances..... and random dreams.

A long with the gym membership I have the biggest ball that takes up most of my living room, only real draw back is it doesn't mow the lawn. But hey, we can't have everything right?

Right time to embark on another trip to the gym... laters all xx

Fanfare in the middle of Pilates..... yes it was me!

So for weeks now I have had writers block..... little did I know it would be one of my guff's that would break the cycle!

Just lately things in my life have been a little turbulent......

Last week I found out from my father that there had been an incident with my mother and his car. My fathers car seem to have developed a mind of its own, in point of fact, it appears to have been possessed by some kind of lock and alarm gremlin. So anyway my mother and father had been out for a little excursion and on their return Pops had wanted to pop into the local supermarket. Ma didn't fancy mingling with the lemmings so opted to stay in the car. Refusing to have the radio on, my pops took the keys with him. So off he went, to peruse the bargains on off! after about 5 minutes there was an announcement over there tannoy "Would Mr Richard Stirling please return to his car". Off he trotted and found my mother trapped in the car with the alarm going off..... by the look on my mothers face she wasn't impressed. This was confirmed as soon as dad managed to stop the alarm and open the doors....... it was like an atomic bomb going off in the middle of the car park. Poor dad.... that'll be the last time he'll be leaving my mother in the car. The car had locked itself and the alarm was going off.... my mother had to get the attention of a passer-by to go and put out the message for my father.

 

So this weekend has marked my 12 months of being smoke free, I am proud to say I am a non-smoker. 4 days ago a friend of mine quit, today was testing for her. the fact that she was wanting to throttle everyone that crossed her path.  I am so proud of my friend for joining the growing numbers of ex smokers. But it isn't easy. So we go for our Wednesday night session of Pilates to release some of those endorphins. The class is fairly uneventful and then the instructor got us to do a movement that required to rock on to our backs and then up on to our bottom cheeks without out feet touching the floor. My body decided during this that it wanted to say something.... but on at a gentle whisper, but a fanfare of noise escaped from my bottom. I farted so loud that I almost dislodged a breeze block 2 metres away! the force almost propelled me across two badminton courts. The kerfuffle it caused was just monumental. Not only had I made the night of some strangers especially the guy right next to me.... YES LOVE WOMAN FART TOO! But I have cheered up my friend, making her day!

I'm so proud of myself

I was tempted to use the baby pool at the gym as some kind of Jacuzzi, but I decided against it. I don't the the foundations are that strong.

I am now off to take on a confectionery producer....... checkout what was found in my nephews sweeties

Mouse pooh... I mean how rude - I know shit happens but that my friends is not on. I will let you know how this works out for me. 

I'm laundering money!

What a packed weekend, not only have I been involved with laundering money but I have had issues at speed!

 

This weekend started early, I took friday off to clean and wait in for Dan, the boiler service man!! More a boy actually. There goes another £50 that I could have done without parting with. But sadly this is what it boils down to, Motorcycle service and boiler service all in the same month. LIFE I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY!

 

 I do have to say a friend threw me a bit of a life line when sheasked me to walk her dogs. I am not sure if I impressed my friend with the state of her dogs on our return but I do have to say its great therapy to end up this dirty.........

 

So having been paid very handsomely for the epic walk, I placed the foldy stuff in my rear pocket. I walked home to get the hose out and clean off the boots, as soon as the front door was closed, I stripped off and started the weekend washing ritual. BUGGER I'M LAUNDERING MONEY. That sort of thing is illegal! Funny really how money feels when you take it out of the wet pocket of your jeans. At least it drys quicker than the pair of jeans that I had on!

 

The walk was so satisfying it was the fresh air workout that I had so long for over the winter months. It helps so much with my truly lacking vitamin D that causes such things as SAD, it made me feel that little bit more chipper.  

 

Friday night, and my nephew came to stay. Which is great for me cause I cook the most amazing meals. Well proper meals, amazing might be slightly over exaggerating my talents. So the plan of action was to be up early to head to the new pool for 8am. Sadly we were late because we had to take my sisters dog back to her house and I woefully underestimated the time it would take to do that. So we waited till 10am for the generally opening hours.....

 

I was look forward to teaching my nephew how to swim, I didn't realise how much work it was going to be. Firstly I had to deal with the huge disappointment that we couldn't go in at 8.20.  Getting changed was uneventful there was a certain excitement with getting in the little training pool, but  then there was the loo incident. Having been in the pool for five minutes the little man piped up that he needed the loo again! so that was fine off we went, now as my nephew is only 3 he was having difficulties with taking his trunks off, so he ask for some help which I dutifully did, but I noticed he hadn't lifted the seat so I started to lift it, the thing was just as I lifted he lowered his head - yes you can tell his head met loo seat and it resulted in tears (and guilt on my part).

 

After that little piece of excitement, the rest of our time at the pool just a bit of fun...... when he started to turn blue I thought it would be a good idea to go!

 

When we got back to my house the idea was he's help me cook pie! Within minutes he was......

 

 

 

So I made a pie..... a weird curry pie! Chicken, bacon, onions, mushroons and a secret sauce..... with a pie top. It was wonderful.

 

Sunday, mothers day and as a dutiful daughter I popped over for lovely lunch at my mum and dads. I had a wonderful time, until I returned home on my motorcycle. It had started raining, and it was cold. Not a good combination, rain I can deal with, cold I can deal with, both together. Lets just say the results just ain't pretty.  A long a particularly fast piece of my return journey I was hit by, what seemed to be, a ninja of a rain drop.... I wouldn't usually complain but it hit head on my pierced nipple. The resulting pain would knock any normal individual out. However after a few choice words I managed to shake it off! 

 

 

Tomorrow back to work......

Therapeutic weekend, what's gone well..........

Funny old weekend, yesterday Friday 1st March, I had to go to hospital. I was experiencing some weird sharp pain on the right hand side of my head, which had actually started the afternoon before. As it was something I had never before experienced I was getting a little concerned, it could have been a stroke. Thing was I was doing all the tests, smiling lifting my arms above my head, talking to myself.... Which I do quite regularly! So I wouldn't have been about to say if I was having issues talking because my brain would have just thought it I was being normal. So any way, wanting to play it on the safe side, I decided to seek medical advice. But first thing first, I took my motorcycle to be serviced. Not the best call in the world when you think you may have some kind of physical head issue. Well got the bike to the garage. Pat Watts in Bridgwater and walked to the minor injuries unit.... This gave me the opportunity to assess the situation fully. Why I had not previously been able to take this sensible approach to the situation, I am unable to say. Shakes, fuzzy head, weird sharp pain to the right hand side of my head. A migraine, I haven't had one in the last twelve months.

My Motorcycle, her name is Moo!

After having my self-diagnoses concurred with a fellow medical expert (Can I say that as a qualified First Aider?) I was able to carry on with my day, with a mammoth sense of relief, and popping the pain killers like smarties. I was even able to work and play badminton... Weird migraine! Just need to eliminate the cause to stop it happening again!

Saturday morning, new pool opens for the first time, so me and my gym buddy head off 10 minutes early to join the gathering masses at 7.50 for the first early bird session.... Guess what, we were the first ones there. Result. So anyway, we commence our swimming session, my buddy setting herself a goal of 40 lengths of the pool. A task which at the time I think is a really good idea. Until I have completed one length..... I come to the conclusion that I must work on my technique rather that quantitative I'm going to work on qualitative. I had a really wonderful coach when I was at Primary School. All I needed to do was remember what he said..... but  lets face it, I find it difficult to remember what happened yesterday let alone 30 odd years ago. The results of my swimming are as follows

• Front crawl - Successfully executed 1 length = out of breath.
• Back crawl - Successfully executed 3/4 length = out of breath.
• Breast stroke - EPIC FAIL.
• Doggy Paddle - EPIC FAIL..... surprise result.

So the conclusions that have been reached so far are after most exercises that have been completed, jogging was EPIC FAIL thanks to my Achilles heel. Pilates successful but must work on my technique. CORE I will have to come back to at some point but the first and only time almost killed me, issues were sweat, ability and my glasses sliding down my nose at every possible opportunity! Yoga, is booked for Thursday, I will be expecting at least one black eye if not two. I have no balance so I anticipate falling flat on my face a few times. Working out in the gym is getting easier, although I still think the machines in there are so form of mordern torture. Badminton I'm making great headway, wonderful success really and I'm remembering some of the old tricks. Overall, I'm doing well, But my stamina is just non-existent, unless its hitting a shuttlecock!

The best thing about this weekend, My motorcycle is now running very smoothly and not sounding like a tactor before the service.